Are you programmed to be an evaluator
The other day four friends were walking in a park enjoying the beautiful fall weather.
Friend 1 commented: Look at the blue sky with the beautiful clouds. Isn’t it wonderful?
Friend 2 said: I prefer a clear sky. The clouds are distracting.
Friend 3 said: I think the clouds look threatening. I think it’s going to rain soon.
Friend 4 remained quiet
but thought to herself: Friend 1 is such an idealist. Who has time to comment on the sky? I need to get back to doing real work.
In this simple example, Friend 1’s simple observation and rhetorical question were greeted with judgment and evaluation.
Isn’t that the way it often is? We listen through a filter of measurement, judgment and evaluation.
Do I agree or disagree? Yes or no? Is it right or wrong? Is it good or bad? Is it less than or greater than?
You have probably been in a meeting where someone was making an observation and another person disagreed with the point before the sentence was completed. Some are habitual evaluators. These people stop listening to what is being said and start forming their response.
Are we programmed to be evaluators? Some (or even many) things just are and do not warrant or need evaluation. By now, some of you are deciding whether you agree or disagree with my premise. What if we did less evaluating and more listening? We might learn to appreciate the blue sky and clouds in the process.
Pushing the Edge of Your Thinking
- Do you listen and see the world through a filter of evaluation?
- Do you experience others evaluating you, your comments and actions?
- How do we teach our children to be less judgmental and more accepting?